What role does spirituality play in recovery from sex and porn addiction?
I do try to keep these blogs seasonal in some way and so with Easter upon us, it feels timely to talk about recovery and religion. There are of course many, many reasons for enjoying Easter, not least the extended public holidays and chocolate. While the roots of Easter are in the Christian story of Jesus Christ’s resurrection, in the secular world we celebrate Easter as a time of new life, represented by spring flowers, cute bunnies and fluffy chicks. And for the many people who define themselves as ‘spiritual’, rather than ‘religious’, the symbols of Easter represent nature, growth, connection and hope.
Over the many years I’ve specialised in addiction I have had the privilege of getting to know many people ‘in recovery’; not just clients, but family, friends and many esteemed colleagues. One thing that has always fascinated me is how closely their narrative of recovery resembles the narrative of spiritual conversion. They talk of being saved from their addiction, of moving from a place of darkness to light, of feeling free from the chains of despair. They talk of hope and healing and finding new meaning and purpose in life. Those who have chosen to incorporate the 12- steps make reference to the steps, traditions and The Big Book, like those with a religious faith, such as Christians and Muslims, might talk of their religious texts. They talk of the support, challenge and encouragement of their community, as people of faith might speak of their religious communities. And for most in recovery, they talk of developing new habits of surrender, meditation, gratitude and service, akin to common spiritual and religious practices. For me, the most profound similarity is that, like religion, recovery takes faith. It means believing there is a better future out there, even though you can’t see it or feel it, and at times you don’t believe it. Getting into recovery requires a leap of faith!
Religion or spirituality?
In spite of our ardent strides towards equality and inclusion, religion continues to get a bad rap from many quarters, including from some therapists and health professionals who struggle to distinguish between spirituality and religiosity. In a paper by Silva Neves he says that 12-step programmes are in “direct contradiction of basic psychotherapy principles”. Adding that therapists who recommend them are “covertly integrating a religious agenda without the client’s consent” and hence breaching ethical guidelines (https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14681994.2021.2008344). Not only are these statements inaccurate, but they also demonstrate a lack of understanding of spirituality.
The World Health Organisation lists Spiritual Health as one of the four dimensions of wellbeing, with the others being physical, mental and social, but defining ‘spiritual’ can be challenging. The Royal College of Psychiatrists defines spirituality as ‘a sense of seeking the best relationship with ourselves, with others and with what may lie ‘beyond’. It goes on to say that spirituality can ‘help us to find meaning and purpose in life, give a sense of hope, and support us in times of suffering and loss’ https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mental-health/treatments-and-wellbeing/spirituality-and-mental-health. The word ‘soul’ is often used to describe the part within us where our spirituality resides; the place where we keep our identity, our desires and our unique essence. Some people express their spirituality through religion, some through their connection to nature and the universe, some through their chosen path of personal development. Interestingly, the word ‘psyche’ comes from the Greek meaning, breath, life, soul – so like it or not, those of us in the psychology professions, are working in a spiritual dimension.
As an integrative psychotherapist, I believe that positive mental health comes when body, mind and soul are in harmony; when our behaviours, thoughts and emotions are in accord with each other. When that happens, we enjoy a sense of integrity, authenticity and a meaningful and rewarding connection with others. Addiction shatters all of these things. In the grips of addiction our behaviours do not match what we feel in our hearts or know in our souls. We become disintegrated.
Recovery means becoming whole again – starting a new life. Whatever your beliefs, the symbols of Easter symbolise a new beginning – and that’s what recovery is.
Helping people start a new life is what we’ve been doing at the Laurel Centre for 17 years through individual therapy and our psycho-educational courses. For those who can’t afford therapy, or aren’t ready for therapy, Pivotal Recovery is a not-for-profit organisation that provides a professionally guided, self-help resource that provides the information and tools to secure recovery.
You can make an appointment to find out more about the Laurel Centre services at a time that suits you by using our ‘Talk to a Therapist’ service. And you can find out more about Pivotal at https://www.PivotalRecovery.org
