New research has just been published by those clever people at the International Sex Survey. You may remember that I blogged about the International Sex Survey about 6 months ago when they published their first paper showing that 5% of the world population meet the criteria for CSBD (Compulsive Sexual Behaviour Disorder). If you missed it, you can read it here: https://thelaurelcentre.co.uk/blog/how-many-people-have-sex-addiction/.

Their latest paper focuses specifically on porn addiction, and they found that just over 3% of the population struggles with their porn use. In other words, their porn use has a detrimental impact on other important areas of their life but despite that, they feel unable to stop or control their usage. The study was conducted across 42 countries with over 82,000 people and results were broken down by country, gender and sexual orientation. 

Perhaps unsurprisingly the study showed that men, or rather people who identify as male, struggle the most with 6.5% meeting the criteria of compulsive use. Just over 5% of people who define themselves as gender-diverse meet the addiction criteria and just under 1% of women. The study included 8 different sexual orientations and there were no definable differences between the groups, so it seems that all sexual orientations are equally susceptible to developing porn addiction. But across the board, it’s men who are most susceptible. According to the stats, 6 times more susceptible. 

Why are more men sex and porn addicts? 

Most people are not surprised that more men struggle with sex and porn addiction than women, but few ask why. Many assume it’s more of a male problem because men generally have a higher sex drive than women which, in heterosexual relationships at least, may also mean they’re less satisfied with their sex life. But while that might lead to watching more porn and/or more infidelity, it doesn’t mean they’re more likely to get addicted. And the proof is in the statistics because when you look at the figures for which gender watches most porn, the answer is men – but not six times more. This means there have to be other reasons, beyond a greater interest in sex, for why men are at greater risk of sex and porn addiction. 

Across the board, men are more susceptible to addiction than women. Whether it’s alcohol, drugs, gambling or gaming, it’s men that get hooked. When you hold that in mind, it reinforces the fact that sex and porn addiction are about ‘addiction’, not about sex and the real question is why do more men than women become addicts? 

Why men become addicted?

There are many different and complex reasons why men are more susceptible to addiction than women, so below is just a brief overview: 

• Peer pressure – research shows that men are more susceptible to peer pressure than women are which means they’re more likely to follow the crowd when it comes to trying drugs or binge drinking. In our current culture where sexual excess is wrongly seen as a sign of masculinity, this may mean that men engage in sexual behaviours to fit in with perceived cultural norms, rather than because of an innate desire to do so. 

• Emotional difficulties – we’ve all heard that big boys don’t cry and that if you’re struggling emotionally, you probably just need to ‘man up’ or ‘grow some’. These cultural messages tell men to deny their emotional problems rather than work through them which means they’re more likely to use substances and behaviours to numb out the pain. 

• Limited social support – research shows that men generally have fewer close friends to turn to for support and comfort than women do. This means they’re more likely to reach for substances and behaviours for comfort than people. 

• Less likely to seek help – study after study concludes that women find it much easier to reach out for professional help for physical and mental health problems than men do. In part this is due to some of the points mentioned above, but also because a lot of psychological support isn’t tailored to men’s needs.  

In the research undertaken by the International Sex Survey, they found that only 5% of the people who met the criteria for porn addiction had ever sought help. The reasons given included “I didn’t know where to go” (8%), “I couldn’t afford it” (5%) and “I would be too embarrassed” (25%). 

Providing help for men with sex and porn addiction, tailored specifically to the psychological needs of men, is what we’ve been doing at the Laurel Centre for many years. Whether it’s individual therapy or joining one of our psycho-educational courses, we work in a way that reduces stigma and shame and is sex-positive. For those who can’t afford therapy, Pivotal Recovery is a not-for-profit organisation that provides a professionally guided, self-help resource that provides the information and tools to secure recovery.  

You can make an appointment to find out more about the Laurel Centre services at a time that suits you by using our ‘Talk to a Therapist’ service. And you can find out more about Pivotal at https://www.PivotalRecovery.org

You can read the full survey here: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/add.16431