Why can’t I stop watching porn?

Insights from the new BACP Addictions Competence Framework

by Dr Paula Hall

Why can’t I just stop is a common question from people who feel their sexual behaviours are an addiction. Whether that’s watching porn or visiting sex workers or using hook up apps or online chat or any of the other endless choices our modern society presents. The answer is simple – because it’s complicated. 

This month, the BACP announced the release of their Addictions Competence Framework. This is a document to be used by counsellors and therapists who work in the field of chemical addiction and addictive/compulsive behaviours to ensure they’re working ethically. The framework also serves as essential guidance for training organisations such as ISAT, who train therapists to work in this field.

For anyone who might have thought helping people overcome an addiction was easy, this comprehensive 15-page document and its accompanying 29-page user guide, proves otherwise. Furthermore, anyone who thinks the guidelines aren’t relevant to working with CSBD (Compulsive Sexual Behaviour Disorder) should note that in the definitions section of the user guide, ‘Addiction’ includes the terms dependency, problematic use, at risk, hidden dependences and compulsion and specifically names sex addiction (p.9). What I particularly like about the document is that the focus is clearly on clients and acknowledges that our understanding of addiction and our treatment models are constantly changing. It is clear that there is no one-size-fits-all treatment modality and therapists must remain open-minded to continue to learn and develop in this ever-changing landscape. 

How to beat addiction

So, what’s the key advice for treating compulsive behaviours? Well firstly, it’s to understand that addiction is complex. The knowledge competencies highlight the biological, psychological, social and economic influences of addiction. Recognising complex life histories, including trauma, as well as the function of use and multiple influences on the development of the unwanted behaviour are also emphasised. The framework also addresses what recovery means, noting that it’s not necessarily about abstinence but could be harm reduction or controlled use. And that recovery is about life change, not just behaviour change. 

People who aren’t trained in working with compulsive or addictive behaviours might be forgiven for thinking addiction is ‘reductive’. They may think that beating an addiction simply means stopping and therapy focusses on behaviour change and nothing else. For some who have struggled for years to beat their addiction, whether that’s to alcohol, drugs, gambling or compulsive sexual behaviours, that has often been the mistake they have made too. And regrettably seeing an inexperienced, untrained therapist might reinforce that false belief. But overcoming any compulsive or addictive behaviour requires much, much more than behaviour change. It means addressing the causes and the maintaining factors.

It’s my sincere hope that this new competency framework will be adopted by everyone working with problematic behaviours so we can be sure that clients receive the help they both need and deserve. To do so, might require challenging previously held beliefs about addiction. Under the equality, diversity and inclusion section, the framework states that a core professional competency is the “Ability to challenge prejudice, bias, stigma and fixed ideas about addiction, in oneself, the therapeutic process, other professionals and society as a whole to reduce their harmful effects.” (p.8).

Addictive and compulsive behaviours have been misunderstood for too many years and much of the backlash against the grass-roots term ‘addiction’ for CSBD comes from those with a simplistic understanding of addiction. It’s time to accept how complex compulsive and addictive behaviours are; how they’re often a symptom of another issue; and how overcoming the problem requires a comprehensive set of competences that covers the entirety of the human experience. 

If you’re a professional reading this and you’re interested in learning more about our training in CSBD, please click here. You can also join us on one of our online Tutor Tuesdays (the next one being next week!) where we’ll introduce our diploma and tutors will be on hand to answer any questions.

If you’re seeking help for compulsive sexual behaviours, you can use our ‘Talk to a Therapist’ service by clicking the button below.  This is an introductory appointment with one of our trained therapists who will be able to assess your needs and provide help.