The CHOICE Recovery Model – Connect with Others
Over the past few weeks we’ve been exploring the CHOICE Recovery model – a roadmap for recovery that goes far beyond sobriety, towards living a full and rewarding life. In case you’ve just clicked on this blog and not seen the previous ones, here’s a recap:-
C- Challenged Core Beliefs
H- Have a Vision for the future
O - Overcome Compulsive Behaviours
I – Identify Positive Sexuality
So in this blog we are focussing on the second C, Connect with Others.
As a species, humans need each other to survive and thrive. Countless research papers have been written about the importance of human attachment for good mental health and many have focussed specifically on the importance of connection for overcoming addiction. People with addiction often have few close relationships and many have no-one they feel they can truly rely and depend on. The consequence is feeling lonely and isolated and hence rather than turning to people in times of need, they turn to their addiction.
Sex addiction and porn addiction thrive in secrecy and shame and those feelings can make it especially difficult to reach out to others. But it is only by reaching out and discovering that you’re not alone that you can truly break through the secrecy and shame.
Beating sex addiction
Overcoming sex addiction and stopping watching porn is not an easy task, but when you know that others have succeeded and you’re not alone in your challenge, that task is made easier. There are many different ways that you can connect with others; that may be within your own community and family, but many people also choose to connect by joining a 12-Step fellowship such as SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous) or SLAA (Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous). You can also join a recovery community online, such as the forum on this site http://paulahall.co.uk/forum/or you can join one of our recovery programmes https://thelaurelcentre.co.uk/sex-addiction-recovery-courses.
Group work and addiction
Joining a recovery group takes a lot of courage, but in my experience the people who want to do group work the least are the ones who need it the most. Working through recovery in a group environment provides the opportunity to discover you are not alone and you will not be judged. It allows you to experience the compassion of others as well as share in their experience and wisdom. Perhaps most importantly it provides a long-term accountability and support community that can continue long after therapy has stopped. I’ll end this blog with just a few of the many, many comments we’ve had from people who’ve been through our group programmes.
“The group recovery course was a life affirming, life changing experience”
“I started the course full of trepidation and feeling alone with my problem. I left the course full of hope and with a network of support from my fellow recovering addicts’ Thank you for giving my life meaning again”
“Having tried one-to-one therapy without long term success, I found group therapy and set aside my initial reservations about discussing my problem with others. This undoubtedly proved to be one of the best decisions of my life”.