Barb Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 (edited) I know this is a strange question and I don’t know how to clearly explain what I’m experiencing but I’m hoping someone will understand... My husband is an intelligent biomedical engineer who went to a good school yet sometimes he can’t understand simple concepts. For example, today we were texting about a home we were thinking about purchasing and I was saying that the ceilings looked short because of the way the photos were taken or because of the air ducts sticking out and he started telling me that the ceilings weren’t actually shorter. Obviously a photographer can’t shorten the height of the actual ceiling so I’m aware that they didn’t shrink. It feels frustrating like this when he’s trying to manipulate me but I don’t think he is trying to manipulate me when situations like this are happening however I don’t understand what is happening. Does his addiction consume his mental energy? How does he keep a job if he does these things at work? Does he only do this with me? Is he playing dumb and actually is trying to manipulate me? Is he just “selfish” and doesn’t expel energy he doesn’t have to on me because he doesn’t value me? I’ve never had this difficult of a time communicating with someone. I hope I am making sense and someone can relate to what I’m saying. Thanks! Edited March 26, 2019 by Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb Posted March 26, 2019 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 I cannot find a way to delete this post and I can no longer edit it however I think I have figured out why he is doing this. I think he is playing dumb to manipulate me. I believe he is “baiting me“ into getting upset/acting crazy so that he can play victim. I came to believe this after doing some research and it lined up with my gut feelings which I am just now learning to try to listen to. If anyone else experiences something similar, let me know! It’s so hard to be in a relationship with a master manipulator. 🙁 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitycheck Posted April 6, 2019 Report Share Posted April 6, 2019 Barb, I hear you. I do think if there is one thing i have learned from my experiences and that is, to always trust my gut. My partner is a master manipulator to the point of cruelty. It's usually when im doing well he'll find a way to upset me. He seems to detest the fact that I have become wise to his games. I feel with mine, his resistance to respond and communicatec respectfully and with integrity was a massive red flag. Mine also played dumb all the time with me, yet holds down a good job. They know what they're doing in my view. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb Posted April 7, 2019 Author Report Share Posted April 7, 2019 Realitycheck, thanks for your reply. You were right about trusting my gut because I coincidentally came across the below image today. I am just learning to listen to my gut now because I haven't been listening to it for the past 13 years but really for my entire life because I didn't learn how to protect myself as a child. Thanks so much for validating what I was feeling! It is so hard when you're in a relationship with someone this manipulative because you lose all sense of reality. I wish I could see what he thinks so that I knew how much he is aware of and how much he is just deluding himself into believing is true. Either way, I appreciate your help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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