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Masturbation after quitting porn


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Is it okay to masterbate without porn after quitting. My partner has been doing this and says it’s helping him learn he can do that without feeling ashamed. But we haven’t had a sex life for years because of the porn. Now I want to rebuild it and I’m concerned if he masterbates he won’t feel aroused enough to want me, still. He works from home every day and I leave the house every day. Please read this and answer assuming the porn as definitely gone. I know I still need to check on this which I am. 

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Hi Sarahrocket,

we encourage our clients to masturbate 'mindfully' which means eyes open, without the use of porn and without the use of fantasy. In other words, because it feels nice.  Many people who have struggled with porn addiction for a long time have literally lost touch with themselves and their ability to stimulate eroticism through touch. It also might be appropriate for you to stimulate him, and he you, as part of your play but without knowing your story, that may be need to be a judgement call.

If his addiction is being managed well and he is in a healthy recovery, then it may be time to consider some psychosexual therapy to strengthen your sex life.

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