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My partner is on Escort Sites! What do I do


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I have recently found out that my SO has been looking at escort sites..again. He has cheated on me in the past but I forgave him and we moved on. He was good for about 4 months and then I recently went on the computer and saw that he was looking at escort sites once again... I immediately confronted him and he admitted to me that “men are visual creatures” but I told him that I was okay with porn 100%  but not with the escort sites, he said something like “he just looks at the photos, (because before we met he had met these prostitutes and he’s just reliving that when jerking off”) well to me and every one who has a brain THATS CHEATING. You are making me feel like I’m not enough (we have sex or he has a BJ from me at least every day or every other day) so why would he think since he’s “not physically touching or even seeing them for real” that he’s not cheating? I don’t understand and I don’t think I will be able too.

We have been together for 6 years now, he has always had a very sexual appetite but I fulfilled that (or so I thought) the admission from him was very surprising because he could have just lied about it but he told me the absolute truth but I feel it may have just doomed our relationship because now it’s ALL I think about.. when we’re having sex, when he’s not with me, it’s not the life I want to live but I do love him dearly.

What am I supposed to do? Please, please help me..I am 35 and he is 45 and we are not married, and we have no children. Should I help him if he’s willing to admit it’s an addiction or should I just cut my loses because it’s not worth it at this point??  

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  • Firefly pinned this topic
  • 3 weeks later...

Honestly, I'd cut ties immediately. But I know it's not that easy. I'm with someone who is finally doing the work and after 4 years of being together the truth is out and he's definitely in recovery. We married 6 months before the biggest disclosure, had a 4 month old baby and he's step dad to my other 2. If he wasn't, I'd have been gone. Noone is worth this pain. 


Do some work and figure out what is best for YOU. 


Sending hugs xx

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