SadDad

Sounds like you're having a tough time at the minute. It is hard doing something that when in your logical mind, you really don't want to do. But the addiction almost overrides the logical mind. It seems to be more powerful. Only serious scares or low points seem to kick start the logical mind back into action. At least that's what I have found in my experience. Bottom line is addiction sucks. But with enough willpower and with the right tools we can work towards overcoming it. One day at a time, little by little, make doing the right things and looking after ourselves spiritually as well as physically our new addiction. Easy to say I know, when the devil comes calling it's hard to say no. We only fail when we give up trying.

I have slipped again today. After being dormant for a couple of weeks my addiction became active again last night. I started staring at women more and then started thinking about a regular escort I visit. Once my mind gets to this stage I find it almost impossible to stop until the inevitable visit to said escort occurs. How can I go from being so motivated to quit, to visiting an escort within a day or so? I just don't get it. Not sure I will ever be able to quit. Feeling resigned to failure again

Thanks Christine. I am feeling good and motivated again now. I believe you only fail when you stop trying, not just in recovery but in every aspect of life. See you soon

I am in a very bad place right now. I am 40 ish and have been a sex addict pretty much all of my adult life, beginning with the usual teenage posters on walls etc. Since then i have been infatuated by the female form. I got married quite young but had already been to a prostitute and done some exhibitionism. I stopped visiting escorts for about 5 years but then boom I started again and have been doing it ever since, with short breaks now and then when I have felt really motivated to quit. I have been doing it for the last couple of months again. When I am in that zone I fail to think about consequences for me and my family if i got caught. However I texted an escort a couple of days ago. She replied asking for a picture. I got suspicious and said I'll leave it thanks..she then said you're on my personal phone and said my name! I messaged again asking who she was and how she knew me. She has stopped replying. Now either she is as spooked as I am or she i(or he) is harvesting numbers for possible blackmail. I am worried sick and so scared inane going to lose my family. I am desperate to stop my behaviours. Have tried numerous times with the help of therapy (Paula Hall affiliated). But now I coukd really use the help of a fellow sufferer, someone who has perhaps come out the other side. Someone I could call and talk to. Someone who could help me and maybe i could even help them? Please comment if this may be you. Not sure how we get in initial contact. Maybe an email address? Thanks for reading. In hope SadDad