PatBatemanBlog

Hi tortoise, I received help for porn addiction from psychosexual therapy. I was forwarded to them by my GP, so I'd say that's your first line of inquiry. You may be able to get sessions after sitting on a wait list for a while. Tell your wife it's sessions for confidence building if you have to, that's what I told my parents. It wasn't a lie, just not all of the truth.

My GP forwarded me to psychotherapy for porn addiction which was very helpful. I'd say that was a first step. It sounds like your partner wants you to get help, so I'd recommend starting there. If the first GP doesn't help, try another at the same surgery. I'd say be wary of SLAA and other support groups as they will probably force feed you Christian stuff, guilt trip you and will ignore science.

Hi Nomore, Your GP should be able to refer you to a therapsit but there may be considerable waiting time. There are groups like SLAA and SAA but they will try to shove Christianity down your / your husband's throat and won't actually offer much solid advice. It's perhaps wrth looking at Youtube advice, particularly Paula Hall's.

I got therapy by going to a different GP than my usual one. My first GP just said "try and stop, there are no services out there." That turned out to be bollocks. I went to a different GP and he forwarded me to psychotherapy. I was on a waitlist for 7 months but the sessions I eventually had started to help. I wish that I'd got help earlier and that I'd started to make the progress earlier. Try SLAA if you want but they'll just shove religion down your throat and disregard any scientific info.

Hi Caron- you've made the first step by talking here so well done. I think religion can sometimes get in the way of helping people with these problems as they usually associate a lot of guilt with sexual activity of any kind, so I'd say first try to keep religion and arousal separate in your mind. Next I suggest talking to your GP about this- hopefully he'll forward you to someone who can help. The main advice I've been given is to try to enjoy other things than porn, and to distract myself from that content with other enjoyment. Don't forget, though, sexual urges are natural and not to be ashamed of per se. Let us know how you get on.

Hi PJ, thanks for responding. I kept going for a couple of months but I felt patronised by the insistance of having a religious angle and how addictions were described as a 'disease'. I stopped because I was looking for genuine help and noone seemed particularly bothered about giving that. I'd love to set up my own group but I've no idea how I'd go about that.

Hi RJ, Great that you're speaking up about this. I'm struggling in a similar way only I'm only using the free sites. My therapist advised me to use real situations and my imagination as fuel for masturbation, rather than the internet. Perhaps this is something you could incorporate. As much as I wish I wasn't watching the free sites myself, I'm wondering if those sites might be better for you than the paid sites you're currently using. It would at least solve the money issue. But using things I've seen in, say, bars and clubs, is a step forward that has started to help me. Keep fighting it!

Has anyone visited addiction support groups like SLAA or SAA? I've visited both but I don't feel like they help. There's a very heavy religious angle to the meetings, we're made to feel very guilty about our compulsions and cross talk (i.e. giving people advice) is actually discouraged. It feels very much, from the meetings I've been to, that people there don't want to change or overcome their problems. I was wondering if people had experienced similar situations.

Thanks for setting this up Paula. Looking forward to improving my situation!