Jay123

Hi Tabs, I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. I can relate to some of your story as mine involves a public nature and social media. It is so unfair to have to go through such devastation in our personal lives with what feels like the whole world watching. I would give anything to at least go through this privately. I appreciate your sharing as it has helped me feel less alone. So many people will never understand this specific pain and the fallout that partners of sex addicts endure. I feel like everyone wants and expects us to make the "right" decision. But it feels so dismissive of the rest of our lives. I'm starting to come to a place where I can separate the addict from the man I fell in love with but of course it doesn't excuse his actions or the devastation they caused. And it doesn't remove the hurt. Many people will never understand our feelings or even consider forgiveness having not been in our shoes and that feels very isolating. I know the pain of wanting so badly for hope but at the same time feeling like it's impossible. You're not alone. I wish you and your family well no matter what the outcome is and feel for you very much. Take care.

Has anyone had experience attending the Partner Workshop? If so was it helpful? What was your experience? I feel like I need more specific support. It's been 2 months since my world exploded due to my husbands addiction. His actions surfaced publicly due to a leak and as a result he lost his job. He let me down as well as so many others. He's since been diagnosed as a sex addict, attended therapy until the insurance lapsed from the job and is now working very hard in a 12 step program, attending 2 meetings a day most days and working with a sponsor and co-sponsor. I truly believe he is remorseful and is committed to doing the work. I can already see him changing at a fundamental level but it is still so early on. We have separated and are living apart. At first we were marching towards divorce but I feel like I have new emotions every day. I want so badly to see the change on the other side and try to work on our marriage but it feels impossible due to the public nature. I feel so much judgement and shame from even entertaining the possibility of reconciling. I am so hurt by his actions but very heavily grieving the loss of our life, his presence, our future. I don't feel as strong today. It feels like nothing will ever feel good or normal again. I have been attending therapy twice a week since this happened but my therapist is not a specialist in sex addiction and trauma and I often feel misunderstood or like she's telling me what I should do. This is covered by my insurance (I'm in the US) so I'm hesitant to seek services at additional cost. I want to heal, I feel so overwhelmed by all the change it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel today. I know I need to be taking care of myself and I feel I've been very strong considering. I thought I had a plan of focusing on me, letting him attempt recovery on his own and seeing if we could work on the marriage on the other side. It seems so logical but I'm finding it extremely difficult to go through the process. I'm experiencing trauma from the public embarrassment, from the weight of his addiction and from the overwhelming change and disruption of my life. Thank you for reading and sharing your stories. It helps to not feel so alone. I'm just so heartbroken.