Axe20

It takes months, from personal experience, but the length of time would vary with each person. Don’t give up giving up, it’s difficult but it will help to find some alternative things to do to make you feel good and stay away from excessive stimulus. Eventually you will find things return to normal, although normal might mean 11 out of 20 rather than 20 out of 20 if that makes sense. stay strong

Hi, I’m not a partner but someone who has had a compulsive use of online porn in the past. I never stored anything on my device as the internet has seemingly infinite and hugely vast range of things, which in my view would render downloading pointless. However, storing things could indicate a preference to something in particular whereas online could literally be anything and everything. It’s insane when I think about it , there’s literally no control over what someone can upload on the web!

I’ve been wondering this for a couple of years now. Recently, I’ve seen more and more posts of partners’ hurt and would be addicts’ struggles. Yet society focuses on addictions of gambling, alcohol, smoking and drugs. Endless health warnings on all adverts for these but barely a mention of porn addiction, it’s not even classed as an addiction by the AMA, even though it has a similar affect on the brain. (Professionals feel free to correct me on that point). Or is it FREE porn that’s accessible anytime, anywhere on any smartphone , which is the problem. Relationships are being destroyed, families broken and individuals subjected to judgement and shame. interested in peoples’ thoughts …

Help would benefit him, so he can find out where these seemingly deep rooted compulsions are coming from. He isn’t going to figure it out on his own, I can say that from personal experience. Rather he will use that as justification to stay on his endless cycle of acting out and self indulgence. Better to do it sooner rather than later , before it’s too late and there’s no going back.

I know this an old thread but thought I’d reignite it. I practically grew up and learned everything I know about sex from porn. Within the last few years it changed into chat sites too and that where my relationship started to fail. My wife felt rejected by my lack of interest in her sexually, ive now learned the impact porn has had me. You brain on porn explains it really well! P.I.E.D is a horrible thing for both partners it I’ve been off it now for 110 days and things are returning to normal . I know longer have to fantasise about porn to perform. It takes time but the brain can heal itself. And with effort the relationships too can heal.

Hi first of all id just point out that this is my first post of any kind, so hi to everyone, it has been useful to see the perspective from the partners. I came to realise i was an SA just over a month ago. It came as a shock and surprise for my wife, but also it surprised me. I realised something wasn't right but never though I was an addict until the "bottom fell out the glass". Now im in therapy and realise my problem and the compulsions were spiralling out of control, I was trying to control the cycle of addiction, to which I kept failing... miserably! Anyway my point of view of disclosure for the partners (this is by no means any justification or excuse of any kind just an insight into my own thought process). It took a few weeks to fully come clean to my partner, at first I struggled with how i was going to tell her the things i had done. I was concerned that if i told her everything all in one hit, it would certainly spell the end. Like a huge dumper truck in one go, completely unmanageable for anyone. Fear, shame, guilt and a sense of me trying to save the marriage were at the forefront. I even had thoughts that if i drip feed, it would make it easier for her sake but then i realised that after all the years of being selfish and blocking her out, denying her the time, love and affection she deserves that it was time to just stop, I couldn't go on living a secret life and lying to her anymore. Especially now id seen the impact on those around me. Disclosure was something I was overthinking, like an obsession, how i would tell, what level of detail etc. We met in person on a few occasions and basically gave an insight into my history of porn use since my teens and how it progressed in recent years. I didn't give an account of every person i ever contacted but I disclosed the more relevant matters such those i stayed in touch with over a period of time and the type of behaviour i was involved with. The more i disclosed the greater the sense of relief (for me), but the more i disclosed the more I remembered in the following days. I was holding back at first and she even challenged me to just come out with it, which i did, who am i to try and protect her feeling after what I've done? Anyway now i feel i have the major stuff out and given her an insight into all the minor stuff. I simply cannot recall every thing i have ever done, not sure i ever will. A few small things from my secret life have since popped into my head but we agreed to focus on the present and future rather than small things i might remember from the past. Its early days yet but am happy enough I've disclosed my problem to her so that... IF ...I do get a second chance then I'm not having to explain any infidelities again. The above is my answer to the why. My answer to "will it ever stop?" Only if you both want it to stop.