Sex Addiction : a guide for couples : Introduction

The discovery of sex addiction or porn addiction in a relationship is devastating.  It is a massive shock for the partner of the sex addict, who very often had no idea what their partner was doing.  The addicted partner (sex addict) can be overwhelmed with fear and shame that their hidden sexual compulsive behaviour has been discovered.  The couple will have a hundred questions on what to do next and if their relationship can survive the pain and trauma of sex addiction in their lives.

We are introducing a new blog series to help couples navigate the storm of sex addiction.  We will be taking parts of Paula Hall’s new guidebook for couples and turning them into weekly blogs.  Each week will focus on a different part of the journey that couples find themselves on. 

Week 1 : Navigating your path through recovery

Before a couple can start thinking about examining their relationship, each of them will need to focus on their own individual recovery.  The partner will need to focus on healing from the trauma of discovery and the sex addict will need to focus on not acting out and understand the root of their addiction.  This blog will help the couple navigate their own healing journeys.

Week 2 : Understanding the importance of disclosure

A ‘therapeutic disclosure’ is completed with a sex addiction therapist with the couple.  This provides a safe, contained place for a full disclosure to occur.  This blog will focus on when, how and why a full disclosure is needed in the couple’s recovery journey. 

Week 3 : Analysing the strength of your relationship

Once a ‘therapeutic disclosure’ has been completed, and the couple have worked on their own healing journeys, then the couple can start to look at their relationship.  This blog will guide the couple on how to review their relationship and decide what the future holds.

Week 4 : Making the decision to stay or leave

This blog will guide the couple on making the decision to stay in the relationship or if it is time to end the relationship.  We will give guidance on how to ‘end well’ and how to inform children and family of your decision.

Week 5 :  Rebuilding trust

If you have made the decision to stay together as a couple, then the most important part of the relationship is rebuilding trust.  This blog will give guidance on ways to rebuild trust between the two of you.

Week 6 : Rebuilding intimacy

Healthy relationships experience intimacy on different levels, it is not just about sexual physical intimacy.  This blog will explore the different ways to express intimacy in the relationship to help strengthen your healing relationship.

We hope the series will help many hurting couples get the help they need after the discovery of sex addiction.  Paula Hall’s book “Sex Addiction – a guide for couples” was released on 28th February 2019.